Sunday, August 16, 2009


If you are going to make the effort to post an ad for a family member, try to learn something about them. Or make it up. Just put something down!

Tall and not a rocket scientist

How can I explain politely? This is not for me! This is not about me! I am not on the market. My big, dumb brother-in-law is the one the ad is about.

He's about 6'5", dumber than average, I don't know what his interests are, and he's strait. I don't even know if the man has interests. He's very tanned, somewhat weathered, and tall enough to make most guys a little uncomfortable. He listens to music and he watches tv. I don't know what kind of music he likes (I suspect rock'n'roll, but I also suspect that he just listens to whatever is on the radio) and I don't know about his interest in movies, television, politics, religion, the price of tea in China, or the international movement to outlaw plastic shopping bags. He's an enigma that can eat a lot and reach everything on the highest shelves, that's all I know. That and that he's not bright. He's not even average. I do believe he falls in somewhere a bit below average on intelligence tests.

But he is a fully functional adult male who likes females and has no interest (that I am aware of) in men and won't stray. He's not bright, but he's not a genuine dullard either. He's got a sense of humor and speaks decent English. He doesn't sound like a scholar and he's not a scholar, but who cares? He's human, he's male, he's strait, he's unencumbered, he's approaching 50, and he is unlikely to ever cheat. What more could a women who is willing to settle ask for? Sorry, but unattached, healthy, strait, financially well off professional men appear to be in short supply.

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