Sunday, September 27, 2009

Nothing says loving like a tub full of cereal.

Craig's List - San Francisco - m4w (48)


I want to have sex in a bathtub full of breakfast cereal - m4w





YES THIS AD IS FOR REAL!! I am looking for a kindred spirit that enjoys, sex, baths, and cereal. So why not try them all at the same time? Now, be warned I have some very specific stipulations for this fantasy of mine:

1) The cereal must have less than 2 grams of protein per serving. That's right, the pure sugar stuff kids eat to get roofed like junkies on speed. These can include:

Fruity Pebbles
Count Chocula
Cookie Crisp
Cocoa Pebbles
Cocoa Puffs
Golden Crisps
Honey Smacks
Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch
Cap'n Crunch
Apple Jacks
Froot Loops
Corn Pops

If you have other suggestions I am more than happy to entertain them.

2) It must be 2% milk, having sex in a bathtub full of cereal is no time for moderation. Plus, I need to get my daily dose of Vitamins A and D.

3) You must be comfortable in the doggie style position. I don�t see any other way to avoid shrinkage and still let you enjoy your cereal before it becomes too mushy.

4) If you insist of photography/videography I will need to insist that I wear a Mexican wrestling mask a la Nacho Libre.

5) I plan on making this a safe encounter to please feel free to bring your own utensils.

After we are finished if you feel like you need something to make you regular again, I should have some Grape-Nuts that you can nibble on. If you are serious, send me a photo, I need to make sure you can fit into the tub.

HEY IF THIS DOESN'T FLOAT YOUR BOAT I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS, DON'T BE SHY, HELL WHERE DID THAT EVER GET YOU?
Yes this ad is for real :
Despite being gregarious and blessed with many great friends, I frequently find myself without an interesting partner to share social events, outdoor adventures, art excursions, or an intellectual conversation. I'm fiercely independent, highly motivated, creative, deeply passionate, and intellectually taxing -- best summarized as "intense". I'm socially and environmentally conscious; and a bit of a comedian trapped in a clean-cut package with a high libido. I have a full head of hair {dark brown}, blue eyes, all my teeth {very straight and white}. I'm a hard-body and dedicated athlete, thrive on outdoor activities, but also relish quiet, sophisticated evenings pursuing intellectual or gastronomical delights. The "Reader's Digest" version of my bio is as follows: stable bohemian Single, employed CEO, non-smoker, drug fee, BS in biology with an MBA and a PHD , avid fly fisherman , bob-sled driver , National team rugby player, hiker, scuba diver, skier, sailor, competitive weight lifter; tinker tailor and candlestick maker {sorry couldn’t help myself}. Most recently I have taken up the Tango and love it ah but as you know it takes two to Tango?


1 comment:

  1. NO! No! This is NOT OK! I am a very, very tolerant person, but this is UNACCEPTABLE! And disgusting! And a public health hazard!

    1) "3) You must be comfortable in the doggie style position. I don�t see any other way to avoid shrinkage and still let you enjoy your cereal before it becomes too mushy. "

    Dude. It's a tub of cereal. And you're both bathing in it. And having sex in it. AND YOU'RE INVITING HER TO EAT THIS NASTY SHIT WHILE YOU DO IT?! It's a tub full of dead skin cells! And semen! And vagina goo!

    Also?

    "5) I plan on making this a safe encounter to please feel free to bring your own utensils. "

    Bring your own utensils?! How 'bout a full body dental dam?! And a pre-filled prescription for penicillin?!

    But, also, this part?

    "I will need to insist that I wear a Mexican wrestling mask a la Nacho Libre."

    Wait....that's kinda hot. Nevermind.

    ReplyDelete