The Disciplinarian

Craig's List - Reno - m4w


Strict Discipline - 27

If you need a real harsh discipline session, with NO sex involved, let me know.

I am a white male, very clean, educated. No Bullshit here. I provide for you a release of stress, anxiety and guilt through receiving punishment.

If you have guilt about something that you have done, you will have to tell me what you did, then I will punish you severely for it. You will feel cleansed afterwards and much more healthy. Your bottom will be sore for a week but your head will be much clearer. I repeat, NO SEX. Don't even ask.

This is a real punishment, not a couple of slaps. You will be made to bare your bottom in front of me, this is to add to your punishment through humiliation. Then you will be placed over my lap, paddled well, then you will have to stand in the corner of my living room for 15 minutes with your red bottom on display just to finalize your humiliation. If you are one that cries uncontrollably after your paddling (which is fine with me), then I will hold you in my arms until you have regained your composure enough to stand in the corner for your 15 minutes. No sex.

This is not about sex, this is about cleansing and releasing stresses and anxieties that create disease.

If are in need of discipline, let me know. You MUST be over 18 though. No BBW's.

I will send a picture, if you send me one. I am available most every evening. I am an experienced disciplinarian who knows how to handle giving out real punishments. Email me now.



No sex. I repeat no sex. No sex. NO SEX! Dude we got it.

Knowing is half the battle

This guy knows exactly what he wants and even though he can't spell it correctly or explain it in a way that is grammatically correct, he's going after it.


Craig's List - Houston - m4w





Lets cut through all the bull - 50

Ok im a SWM age 57 not going to lie about it, Im 6 tall gray hair, and over weight, cant get any shorter, or grow the hair back and dark again, but am taking major steps to lose weight this winter. Here is what I want, I want a new good friend with BENIFITS. Ok all you grannypanitie women who are still raising your middle age kids, grand kids, or aging parents, or even have more than 1 pet you can stop here I dont want you. I want a women who is a lady, and a playmate, Yes we are talking sex, I dont want it on the first date, but Im not going to date you till xmas waiting on it, That is one side of the benifit package, your side, is you will being going out with a fun witt man who will treat you like a lady, wine you and dine you, movies and ect, Now if your real and not a scammer and still have feeling below your waist, that the part that the sagging tits have not covered up, then email me back, This is a real ad, I wont open any email that do not have the color of your hair in the subject line. also your pic will get mine in return.


So if you want this winner, send your kids away from home and get rid of those granny panties (or as he calls them grammypanities)!

You can depend on depends.

The last two posts came from Dallas TX. So if you have a baby related fetish it seems like Dallas is the place for you.



Craig's List - Dallas - m4w


guy with weird fetish lookng for a relationship

What's going on? I'm an oddball for the most part, just got back from working overseas. Looking for a relationship. Figured it might be worth my luck to try CL. So about that fetish, I have a diaper fetish. Seems like more and more guys have this fetish. What does this mean for you? Will you wear diapers for me? No you will not. Will I want my diapers changed by you? No, I do not. Do I want to be treated like a little baby? No I dont want to be treated like a little baby.

I just want you to be aware I have this fetish, it will be easier going into a relationship with that established. I can't meet someone at Jamba Juice and immediately ask them for date and during the date tell them I have a fetish like that, that would scare them off.

Me: 5'7, 160lbs, like to read, not big on watching TV. I like to listen. Love to travel. not crazy

You: Shorter than 5' 7", okay with my fetish, not crazy, disease free, drug free (but okay with 420, i dont smoke but its cool). I dont watch TV but if you do, thats cool, I like hearing people talk about whats happening in TV Land so I feel I keep up with some of it.

How did he know?

How did this guy figure out this is what got his engine going?


Craig's List - Dallas m4w


in Need of a Momma - 27

Im seeking an Older Women to tie me to a chair and force feed me eggs and Oatmeal . it's Optional if you want me in a diaper but then again i have bottle & Pacifiers . So please treat me like a Baby and you must host.


I bet he lives with his mom. Why else have the other person host?

I saw the title and I knew

She seems a bit crazy to me. I was reading this and thinking she was a teenager, then she mentions she HAS a teenager (luckily the kid is living somewhere else, so the kid still has a chance). I get lost and confused by about 1/2 of what she says, but it seems she does too, because she drops one thought and just goes right to the next crazy one.


Craig's List - Dallas - w4m


big boobs looking for partner in crime - 33 -

i am 5'4. an honest size 3(girls tend to lie about that one) and a 36ddd cup.i am new to dallas.i am "one of the guys" type of girl.i am ur tailgate partner, ur friends wingman, and ur bbq buddy..i just wont know which guage socket u want thou.i am the girl that ur daddy will love and ur momma will hate.i am as comfortable in five inch heels as i am barefoot.my computer at conference rom wont let me go to get my mail how about u figure out my addrress on the Y.i love a good house dinner party over going to some fancy restaurant.i like anything outdoors.k.if u add four plus one what number do u get?dumbsquirrels is the second part of my Y addrress.or u can get me at eight one five two nine one six two six four.i just moved from illinios so excuse the out of area number will be changing it lateralsoalso a text or email i am on roaming so i will answer a text before a call..i am just loking to meet new friends to start new adventures..who knows what trouble we can get into.if its not on video ..it never happened...more info ..i am drug free..its not a deal breaker but again i dont want to date a crackhead.i am a very social drinker and can drink most ppl under the table.i lived on an island for 15 yrs so that was all there was to do.is sun and suds.i live about ten minutes from dallas lovefield and do not drive ..even thou i do own a car.state of texas says so..dirty bastards..lol..oh well.id appreciate emails and texts more than call.i am a one on one for talking vs a phone..but will text and email or im all day.i am not sure what i am looking for..but fun people who dont have all bad days is a great start.i am pretty much perky all the time and a huge morning person.a bit chipper.i have been in only a few relationships and am always ben a better friend than girlfriend.i do have a child.she is 16 but is living with her grandma this yr.i am staying with my dad till i decide if i am staying in dallas or going back to chicago..also i do have tattos so thats it for nowthanks for reading.have a wonderful day...

Nothing says loving like a tub full of cereal.

Craig's List - San Francisco - m4w (48)


I want to have sex in a bathtub full of breakfast cereal - m4w





YES THIS AD IS FOR REAL!! I am looking for a kindred spirit that enjoys, sex, baths, and cereal. So why not try them all at the same time? Now, be warned I have some very specific stipulations for this fantasy of mine:

1) The cereal must have less than 2 grams of protein per serving. That's right, the pure sugar stuff kids eat to get roofed like junkies on speed. These can include:

Fruity Pebbles
Count Chocula
Cookie Crisp
Cocoa Pebbles
Cocoa Puffs
Golden Crisps
Honey Smacks
Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch
Cap'n Crunch
Apple Jacks
Froot Loops
Corn Pops

If you have other suggestions I am more than happy to entertain them.

2) It must be 2% milk, having sex in a bathtub full of cereal is no time for moderation. Plus, I need to get my daily dose of Vitamins A and D.

3) You must be comfortable in the doggie style position. I don�t see any other way to avoid shrinkage and still let you enjoy your cereal before it becomes too mushy.

4) If you insist of photography/videography I will need to insist that I wear a Mexican wrestling mask a la Nacho Libre.

5) I plan on making this a safe encounter to please feel free to bring your own utensils.

After we are finished if you feel like you need something to make you regular again, I should have some Grape-Nuts that you can nibble on. If you are serious, send me a photo, I need to make sure you can fit into the tub.

HEY IF THIS DOESN'T FLOAT YOUR BOAT I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS, DON'T BE SHY, HELL WHERE DID THAT EVER GET YOU?
Yes this ad is for real :
Despite being gregarious and blessed with many great friends, I frequently find myself without an interesting partner to share social events, outdoor adventures, art excursions, or an intellectual conversation. I'm fiercely independent, highly motivated, creative, deeply passionate, and intellectually taxing -- best summarized as "intense". I'm socially and environmentally conscious; and a bit of a comedian trapped in a clean-cut package with a high libido. I have a full head of hair {dark brown}, blue eyes, all my teeth {very straight and white}. I'm a hard-body and dedicated athlete, thrive on outdoor activities, but also relish quiet, sophisticated evenings pursuing intellectual or gastronomical delights. The "Reader's Digest" version of my bio is as follows: stable bohemian Single, employed CEO, non-smoker, drug fee, BS in biology with an MBA and a PHD , avid fly fisherman , bob-sled driver , National team rugby player, hiker, scuba diver, skier, sailor, competitive weight lifter; tinker tailor and candlestick maker {sorry couldn’t help myself}. Most recently I have taken up the Tango and love it ah but as you know it takes two to Tango?

Mama Needs a Real Man

Craig's List - Atlanta - w4m

MY MAMA NEEDS A REAL MAN!!!

0k... Im'a keep it real.. This man my mama is dating now is low down, has no job, depends on her for food and gas money, AND HE LIVIN IN THE HOUSE FOR FREE!!! Pays no bills!! He just sits up and plays the game all day wishin he could play daddy!! HE'S GOT TO GO!!! She asked me to do this so... Is there any real men out there?? Job?? Nice Car?? Got something goin for yourself??.. She's a BBW =) A model, And a very good mother... I will send you pics and more info when you email.. All you gotta do is reply with a pic and some information about yourself and maybe we can set something up.. =) sound great??


Mama needs to give current boyfriend the boot. Don't know why he is still there, seems like mama wants him gone just as badly as the kid does.

Wanted: the Ultimate Stalker

Probably written as a joke - but still hilarious!



Craig's List - Dallas - m4w


Stalker Needed for a 2 (or more) month project.
I am in desperate need of a stalker, for at least the next 2 months...(possibly longer if everything goes well). I am a 33 year old white male, who is fluent in English.

Said stalker will NEED to do things such as:

• Random voicemails accusing me of cheating.
• Love notes written in creepy handwriting with a crayon, professing your undying love for me, left on the windshield of my car or apartment door.
• Driving down my street and later deny it violently even though I was standing by the road looking right at you. Just because you don't make eye contact when I catch you doesn't mean it didn't happen
• Call my mother and tell her you're pregnant. When she asks who it is, giggle and hang up.
• Wear a hat and glasses while you follow me as I shop at my local Kroger for groceries.


Most importantly....improvise...there's nothing like someone banging on your bedroom window in the middle of the night.

I will need these services performed at least twice a week. One of those days must be a Tuesday. If you can't do a Tuesday, skip that week altogether. In lieu of the Tuesday night rule, you may send mail postmarked on a Monday that arrives no later than Wednesday, and leave a "trinket" in my freezer while I'm not at home - no exceptions. All rules may be ignored if stationary with tears and perfume are involved.

I will provide you with my address, access to my apartment, my phone number, name, and work address. (But let's face it, if you're a really good stalker, you'll already have this, as well as my license plate number and the last four of my social security number.)

Stalking is over only if I actually decide to take you back. For your services, you will receive:

• 1 autographed picture of Dave Coulier
• 1 Judge Judy DVD ( I will be in the video. That way you can 'watch me' even when you aren't 'watching me'. )
• 7 cups of Ramen Noodles (your choice of flavor)
• 1 King sized Snickers bar.
• The opportunity for me to take you back.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I would like the stalking to begin as soon as possible. Rewards are negotiable.


If you respond to the ad try to negotiate for 8 cups of Ramen Noodles. Make it worth your while.

Boyfriend #2

Eating Ain't Cheating. Now why aren't there bumper stickers that say that?


Craig's List - New Orleans - m4ww


F*** My Face Or Imma eat you from the Back - 32

Ok ladies i know your stressed Your Bf/Husband not fucking you rite and he not eating the pussy at all, Thats why im here If you scared to cheat, like bill said eating aint cheating, I AM THE COOCHIE MONSTER I'LL EAT YOU TILL U SAY STOP!!!!!! WE DONT EVEN HAVE TO EXCHANGE NAMES I DONT WANNA KNOW NOTHING ABOUT U JUST SEND A PIC IF I LIKE IT I'LL HIT U UP AND GIVE U A P***Y LICKING U'LL DREAM ABOUT ALL MONTH LONG, I'LL COME TO YOU,ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK WHILE U AT WALMART, ON YOUR WAY PICKING THE KIDS UP, STOP CHEATING YOURSELF LADIES , I HAVE ONLY ONE RULE U MUST BE SHAVEN THIS IS NO JOKE I AM REAL, MY HRS ARE (M-T 9AM TO 1:45PM AND F-S 9AM TO 4AM) I BROTHER GOTTA WORK UNLESS YALL GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME ...LOL NICE THOUGHT.

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

If this is what she says in her original post, what do you think she is hiding?


Craig's List - Los Angeles - w4m


Help Out A Good Looking Pregnant Chick?

Here's the deal: I'm a 25 year old 5 month pregnant chick that needs to make $2,500 by the end of this week!! I just found out that my now ex decided to start a full on relationship with another woman who he recently got a place with & has left me with no way to pay the bills, get rent paid or feed our 9 month old son, nor is he helping to take care of his responsibilities!!
I'm NOT a "pro/ escort/ street whore" etc. but I NEED to make this $2,500 to keep myself in the clear for the next month or two & a friend suggested I try this out. If you're legit, honest D&D FREE & can help me out with all or at least a decent amount of the $2,500 , please feel free to email me. I'm a very good looking pregnant chick; not fat or overweight!! I'll send a picture to legit guys who would like to meet with a legit girl who's not a "pro' type.

NO game players
NO time wasters
NO liars
NO pic collectors